Transvestia

cision on my part. I had to work hard and learn to be- come a real boy, deny my preferred thoughts, conduct and dreams, to face life as it was and stop running.

Seventh grade was well on it's way and with it a new me. It was a facade, of course, built by observation of others, participation in their sports and with body- building thrown in for good measure. By the end of that year, the girl without was safely within and the running was over. She was still there, the dream still persisted, and so did the femme-dressing. By the time high school came, a new foible emerged.

The dozens of pretty girls around not only made me envious, but I became aware of a definite sexual attrac- tion to them. Making the best of mixed emotions, there were many dates. With the dating came rare opportunities to be alone for short periods with all those lovely things girls and mothers are wont to wear, so I wasn't complain- ing. Actually, I would have bought my own things, but there were no self-service department stores then. The additional fear of my father finding anything was enough to decide the matter regardless. These years were good. I became more adept to the masculine role, taking ad- vantage of all the social activities available, and in so doing met my wife in 1955.

The scholastic ability still seemed to be there, and son had to have a college education.

Unfortunately, my first year at the local college did not impress the faculty, my parents or me. In fact, it could be easily classed a complete failure, from which financial support was quickly dropped. You can't blame someone for not staying with a sinking ship. The reason for the ship sinking was rather obvious to me. I had reached a climax of anxiety the like of which has not been seen since, and there just was not enough capacity to deal with it and school too. I was completely out of balance, precariously teetering on the brink not knowing which way to turn. This would represent a bad situation for anyone, but for someone entertaining trans-sexual thoughts, very bad. Regardless of the circumstances that year convinced me of the need for the education, so I got a job parking cars.

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